What sexy means to me

Figleaves asks influencers what sexy means to them and, guess what, it doesn’t involve the male gaze

Confidence. Being myself. A feeling. Loving the skin I’m in. These are the overwhelming responses from influencers and Figleaves Friends when asked what sexy means.

We invited influential social voices like Kelly Knox, Malin Andersson, Felicity Hayward and Caralyn Mirand as well as our social community #FriendsofFigleaves to share their feelings on what sexy means. Included among the 40 influencers who took part are women of different shapes and sizes, ages, ethnicities and abilities.

Their inspiring messages encourage us to embrace ‘our sexy’ and reject the notion that sexy lies in the eyes of others, in the male gaze or has a specific ‘look’.

For mental health campaigner Malin Andersson, sexiness is about self-love: “Everybody has a different definition of sexy but to me it’s about embracing every single thing you’ve got already and being happy with what you have. Also understanding that sexiness lies deep within you.”

As a confidence crusader, Caralyn Mirand says: “To me, sexy is confidence. There’s nothing more attractive than seeing someone confident and comfortable in the skin they are in. When my undergarments are on point, it immediately sets the foundation for a good outfit, day, life. It may seem like a frivolous step, but it creates a ripple effect into other aspects of my day-to-day life that make me feel GOOD. Often times people assume lingerie / sexier undergarments are meant for someone else… I think it’s for YOU and if someone else enjoys it, that’s just an added bonus.”


“People cannot tell you are not sexy or how to be sexy. And that’s what makes it well…sexy.” @chelsea_millerxoxo wears Figleaves Mila Lurex balcony bra and high waist brief and Ivy Embroidered sheer robe.


“Often times people assume lingerie/sexier undergarments are meant for someone else… I think it’s for YOU.” @caralynmirand wears Figleaves Mila Lurex balcony bra and high waist brief and Ivy Embroidered sheer robe.

Our Friend Natalie Amber, who describes herself as a ‘Crohns disease warrior’, says: “Sexy is bodies with scars, bodies with stomas, bodies with stretch marks and hip dips, bodies with tattoos, bodies with no tattoos, bodies with freckles, moles and spots. And more importantly women wanting to feel sexy for themselves.”

And being unapologetically yourself, is key for plus size super model Felicity Hayward: “I believe confidence can be the biggest sex appeal ever, being your true authentic self and letting that ooze out of your soul.”


“When you’re comfortable you feel good and when you feel good you feel confident and when you feel confident YOU are SEXY.” @natalie_amber1 wears Figleaves Fleur Eyelash Lace plunge bra and thong.


“I believe confidence can be the biggest sex appeal ever.” @felicityhayward wears Figleaves Savannah Lace-up plunge body.


“This is for me and not anyone else.” @daniellelucyy wears Figleaves Savannah Lace-up plunge body.

“Being an Asian American child, teenager, and adult, I’ve traversed the many expectations of how my body ought to look, says Friend of Figleaves Karen Wang who posts as @lifeofkare. “The Chinese culture admires slim figures, fair skin, delicate fingers, high cheekbones and noses, and an obedient demeanor. The American culture praises boldness in facial features, chest size, rear ends, but small bones and confidence that exudes sensuality. So what happens when you’re somewhere in between? You create your own definition of beauty, of sexiness, of confidence, of grace.”


“Sexy is whatever I want it to be! And more about MY gaze, confidently embracing my dark skin, body hair, every lump, bump scratch.” @sherrahr wears Figleaves Amelie Strapping basque.


“We don’t have to ‘reclaim’ sexy, we just have to let them know that we are already it.” @jess_megan_  wears Figleaves Amelie Strapping balcony bra and Brazilian.


“Sexy is deeper than any physicality – it is pure energy, divinity, magnetism, confidence, passion, total embodiment – the connection of mind, body + soul + full expression beyond the senses.” @itskellyknox wears Figleaves Amelie Strapping basque and Brazilian.


“Sexiness lies deep within.” @missmalinsara wears Figleaves Ava plunge bra and high waist suspender brief.


I don’t wear lingerie for the gaze of anyone, but for myself when I look in the mirror. Figleaves offers beautiful pieces that flatter all shapes and sizes because EVERY BODY deserves to feel sexy.” @jessicataylorstevenson wears Figleaves Savannah Lace-up plunge bra and suspender thong.


“It’s refreshing to talk about what makes me feel sexy as a black plus size woman. Sexy makes me want to explore my sensuality, appreciate my body in all its glory and makes me feel like an absolute goddess.” @cecediamond wears Elomi Matilda plunge bra and brief.

Jo Jeffery

Jo Jeffery is on a mission to spread the message that every body fits at Figleaves - through content and PR that celebrates inclusivity and diversity.